Re-imagining Marriage
The phone rang, and a staff member at my seminary
in Washington, D.C., from which I had recently graduated, in May 1989, had a
problem that he hoped I could help resolve: a couple he knew was planning to
have their relationship blessed by their minister in the United Methodist
Church where they were members—until the Bishop heard about it and declared
that such blessing ceremonies were not to be conducted by United Methodist
ministers or take place in United Methodist churches under the Bishop’s
authority.
The Bishop’s problem was that the couple was gay.
The seminary staff person knew that I was one of
many Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, thanks to my having trained at
a More Light Presbyterian Church which publicly welcomed into membership and
leadership all persons, whatever their gender or sexual orientation. I myself
was not yet ordained, but did I know a Presbyterian minister who would be
willing to step in and conduct this Holy Union in their Presbyterian church?
I referred them to my training supervisor, the Rev.
Jeanne Mackenzie, minister of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Southwest D.C.,
and to the Rev. Carla Gorrell, a Presbyterian graduate of my seminary who worked
in Westminster as Director of a program preparing and delivering meals to
people with AIDS-related illnesses. As it turned out, Carla was able to conduct
the ceremony, and Jeanne was more than happy for it to take place in
Westminster—until the Presbytery heard about it and tried to ban such blessing
ceremonies from being conducted by any of its ministers or taking place in any
of its churches.
One debate led to another, until finally it was
decided that Presbyterian ministers were free to bless same-gender
relationships as long as they were not called “marriages.” This was a moot
point in the days before civil jurisdictions in the United States started to
issue marriage licenses to gay couples.
This month the Presbyterian Church (USA) became the
first denomination to “re-define” marriage. Its Book of Order now holds that
marriage is “between two persons, traditionally a man and a woman.” And last
summer the General Assembly of the PC(USA) decided that its ministers may
conduct same-gender weddings wherever they are legal.
“Will you marry me?”—It’s no longer just a straight
question.
“I do!”—It’s not simply a straight answer.
The human right to marry, whatever your gender or
sexual orientation, is simply just.