Co-existing with fears

Co-existing with fears

I grew up unafraid of bears. Three of them lived in my bedroom closet: a mommy bear, a daddy bear, and a baby bear. Every time I went to bed I’d say good-night to them.

In kindergarten I learned the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. That is, I learned to tell my version of it. On Parents’ Day, I got to use the flannel board and felt characters to illustrate how, after Goldilocks runs off in fear, the momma bear set about making a new batch of porridge, the daddy bear replaced the chairs, and the baby bear made up the beds. The moral of my story was that it isn't finished until everything is where it’s supposed to be, like the bears in my closet.

On family camping trips and when I worked in Yellowstone National Park and Denali National Park, I learned that real bears were to be respected from a safe distance. We put our food in bear-proof containers and stored them outside our tent, we didn’t sleep in the clothes we had cooked in, and we tied bells to our packs while hiking so that bears could hear us coming and leave us alone.

I have only seen grizzly bears in their natural habitat from far, far away, which is a good thing, and to my knowledge they’ve only heard me from afar. They are near-sighted, we employees were told during our orientation, and so if you surprise a grizzly it will want to get a closer look, and then if you try to run away it will run after you, and if you do live to tell the tale it is guaranteed to have an unhappy ending. The park rangers warned us not to hike with food on us or if we were menstruating as grizzly bears have a strong sense of smell and are attracted to the scent of blood or anything edible. The moral here was let live and live.

The same goes for fears. As children we grow up with fears, and somehow we learn to cope. These child-appropriate coping mechanisms aren’t always suitable for adulthood, however.

Here are tips for co-existing with fears, based on advice about co-existing with bears issued by the State of Maryland Wildlife and Heritage Division of the Maryland Department of National Resources:

1. Do not feed fears—feeding fears may place you or your family, friends, and neighbors in danger as they lose their instinctive role and become unpredictable.

2. Don’t tempt fears by leaving or providing fuel within easy reach. Store all fuels and wastes properly.

3. Do not approach any fear in the wild. Maintain a safe distance between yourself and any wild fears to avoid threat or instigating a confrontation.

4. Be alert in areas where fears may be active, especially areas frequented by fears.

Facts about Fears:

Fears normally retreat before you even realize that they are there.

Fears are intelligent, have good long-term memory, and are capable of recalling the location of plentiful fuel sources even years later.

Moral of this story: they all lived happily ever after, with fears in proper perspective.